What Is Heaven?

And for that matter, what is Hell? Seeing as how I seemed to have booked passage to one or the other, I have been pondering this lately. More than usual.

I think if you make Heaven at this point in time, in Biblical history, that you end up in an anteroom, that looks like whatever you imagine it to be. Mine would be a Hooter's, where hot angel chicks served you beer and wine, and meats of your choice, while you watch highlight reels of your life on a 200" plasma screen, mixed with live action of what is going on now, live, with your family. "Shit, I didn't even think she liked Mexicans...dayum..." and a warrior angel appears beside you, and says "Wamme to go kill the bitch? It's what I do..."

Uh, no thanks. But you can whack that beaner, dude. *POOF!*

Hell. Hmmmmm, that's a difficult one. I don't believe in the Catholic version. Nor the Jewish one. All religions suck balls anyway. But we have been given a few peeks in the Bible, though those have doubtless been fucked up by the Jews for your shopping pleasure, anyway.

I've never met God, except in passing, but I can't see Him allowing the rebel angels back in. Hell for me would be being separated from my family forever. Especially if I got to sit there in a Hooter's run by faggots, serving shitty hot wings, and Bud Light. Watching my family. In Heaven. Man, that would suck.

So, I just don't know. Nobody gets out alive, and nobody gets back from this trip. When it happens, it has happened, and that's all there is to it. Whine all you want, someone's gonna come along and hang your ass in a gibbet at the crossroads, while crows peck your eyes out.

Prognosis is not good for me. Soul-wise. Good news? Mine is no dirtier than yours. Surprise!

Well, I can't report back from the afterlife, so, hey, mystery. Mind your P's & Q's, folks...

Somebody's watching...